From fixed views to open hearts

If perception were reality, then optical illusions would be real.

Looking back at your younger self, you can probably say you’re not the same person now that you were then. No matter how subtle, or welcome or unintended your experiences, they’ve changed you. And who you are today is a reflection of what you’ve chosen to take from those experiences.

From as early as I can remember, I held an unwavering sense of right and wrong, guided by opinions I believed to be essential for creating a better world. I’ve since done a complete 180 degree shift in almost every opinion previously held, and I cringe at the thought of what would have transpired if my once rigid beliefs had materialized.

When confronted with conflicting values, my gut reaction was to boil the other person down to an oversimplified judgment as if that one opinion was the most important and relevant thing about them. I’d dig in my heels and feel personally affronted if my attempts to correct and change them weren’t successful.

It’s easy to say now, looking back, that I was naive, righteous and arrogant - qualities easily chalked up to youth and inexperience. But I also can’t ignore the prevalence of these qualities that I witness still in many adults today. 

It’s obvious to me now how critical diversity of thought is. Diversity of thought isn’t meant to be convenient - it’s meant to honour our right to be autonomous individuals. It’s what births art, philosophy, new ideas, inventions and so much more into this world - which, more often than not, we claim to value right up until it strikes too personal of a chord. Yet, diversity of thought creates balance in what would otherwise become a global echo chamber of affirmations - and frankly, that’s boring.

No one viewpoint is meant to be accepted, agreed upon or supported by all. That’s the beauty of what makes each of us unique. That’s the elegance behind what propels each of us to create fulfilling, purpose-led lives. Yet so often we evaluate relationships based on what makes us the same. We choose comfort over connection and orient our sense of self around how others fit into our idea of what we believe to be true.

I began respecting and relating to differences with a greater sense of humility in my early twenties when I spent four months backpacking through India. Preparing for my trip, I knew culture shock was a realistic possibility and if I were to adjust with ease, I needed to approach differences with openness, free from judgment rather than resist what wasn’t familiar. In the month leading up to my departure I embodied being at peace with what was simply by observing myself and my surroundings, detached from any and all ideas of how things “should” be. My heart was open and ready to receive whatever unfolded, and I was prepared to hold that with love and grace and understanding.

Before I even deboarded the plane, my nose was assaulted with the strong stench of sewer. I inhaled it deeply, taking long, slow breaths. I wanted to feel in my body the sensation that this foreign air brought up in me. I breathed in, without judgment, repulse or resistance. It was neither good nor bad, it simply just was.

Radical acceptance was my guide, allowing me to experience a whole new side of what I thought I knew to be true. I soaked in the juxtaposed beauty of what it meant to be poor and happy. Run down and vibrant. Pushy and well meaning. Beautiful and poorly cared for. Desperate and trustworthy. I immersed myself in the vast expanse of gray, where black and white merely became fringe detailing on a jacket that started to feel a little too small. 

I noticed how it felt to be in my body without resistance to the things that I could not control. I felt centred in choosing to plug the energy leaks. I felt empowered and clear. I felt strong and capable knowing that I had the ability to change my reality by changing either how I thought or how I responded. 

It’s been over a decade since then, and I’ve spent many of those years exploring the “grey” more deeply, marked by my commitment to accept in others what I may not personally value yet love them anyways. I’ve learned to find truth and value in alternative perspectives and I’ve uncovered new ways to be present, open and adaptable to any discomfort that arises. 

In developing radical acceptance, I've cultivated deeper peace within myself, trusting in my ability to create the reality I want instead of outsourcing my desires. This belief has shattered the barriers around my own perceived limitations, empowered me to take inspired action, prioritize my boundaries, and pursue connections that align with how I want to feel. I invest more attention to the pivot over the plan, and in doing so I've learned to let go of what doesn't feel right and to embrace what does.

Curiosity is at the core of this transformation, which is foundational to developing one's higher self. Yet today, curiosity seems to be waning in a world where intolerance prevails. Without tolerance, curiosity falters. Without curiosity we cannot develop acceptance. And without acceptance we cannot love.

We live in a world where perception is viewed as reality. Cultivating deep rooted connection has often become too uncomfortable because we’ve become so disconnected from ourselves that we’ve forgotten what we need to stay anchored in what truly matters, and regulated in the face of what doesn’t.

I have a deep stirring within. I have dreams of a new world and I believe it begins with a collective commitment to curiosity and allowing individuals to flourish in ways that resonate authentically. 

By focusing less on changing others and more on aligning with what feels good and right for ourselves, we can collectively change the energy of the planet. We can collectively create massive impact by changing the only thing we truly can control - ourselves.

Let's rekindle the lost art of connection and, in doing so, reshape the world, one accepting choice at a time.

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P.S. We’re all a work in progress and sometimes we don’t show up the way we intend to. Let this piece of art be your anchor for when you find yourself falling back in to habits that aren’t rooted in connection. View “there’s connection here”.

P.P.S. This second piece is created from the most impactful experience I had in India - the hike to Triund - featuring one of my favourite photos taken from the top with a view of the Himalayas. More often than not, mountains hold the answer. View “views I’ll never forget”